I have not written much of anything for 2 months. I haven’t read anything, either. It was part conscious decision, part succumbing to lazy desires. My mind simply could not focus on anything beyond doing my best to prepare for my future (I’ve heard that pregnancy hormones will do that to you), and the desire to read and write were shoved to the back of my own priority list. It hasn’t been until the last few days that the thought of “Hey, I have about a half hour right now that I could get some writing done!” has popped into my head. Of course, then the baby wakes up or my 4 year old gets too quiet, and the moment passes. But the important thing to me is that the thought, the desire, has come back.
I want to be able to take advantage of this while I’m still on leave with a bit more flexibility to my day. My goal, my writing goal anyway, is to have my rough first draft done before I have to return to work – which is roughly 6 weeks away. Full frontal honesty – I am VERY intimidated by this time frame. There are many reasons why this won’t work, the majority being baby based. But it is because I hear the fear, the worry, the grip of doubt reaching up from the depths that I am choosing to attempt it. If I can’t drum up enough passion during this time of my life, a time full of familial demands and lacking routines, then how am I going to be able to write anything at all at any other time?
And, as if that isn’t difficult enough, I am going to throw in my other personal goals as well …. because…. YOLO. I want to be reading more (so look out for more book reviews) and to work on my health as much as I can. I’ve discovered these three things are my core. Not just the core to my happiness, as my family is also a requirement for that. More, they are the core to my sanity. They are the things that I require to be able to be present, to be able to be there for my family, to give them what they need so they can also be successful. Without working on these, I would go back to square one, and no one would win.
It is time to pick up the journey again, and to see where this adventure will take me.