Mother’s Day – What I Really Want

My husband mentioned to me the other day that when he read my posts, he felt as if I was declaring a battle against life. That it was out to get me, and I needed to shore myself up to fight again. He followed up with “I feel like you’re writing about Girl Power in all of them. Is that what you are intending to do? I thought your blog was about writing…” It made me stop for a second, because as right as he is about the feeling of some of my posts, I hadn’t meant it that way intentionally. I was just writing what I felt to be true at that moment.

There’s nothing wrong with a little Girl Power; in fact, my husband and I try to instill it in our daughters’ every chance we can get. But it was never a conscious thought that I need empower women specifically, or aim my writings at them. I guess my brain just doesn’t work in that way. I wasn’t completely loving his take and perception, not because of what he said, but more because it made me wonder if that is how everyone is taking my writing. And if so, if that is how I wanted to be perceived.

After thinking for a few seconds, I replied “I feel like what I’m trying to put out there is more about Soul Power than Girl Power. To let everyone know that it’s ok to get back up when fear or ego or adversity steps into their paths. It’s ok to fail time and time again, so long as they persevere and feed their love, their soul. I think that if there is any message that I would like to come from what I write, I want it to be that. For everyone.”

I know I can’t control how anyone will interpret what I write. By being a woman, a wife, a mother, some will inherently believe my target audience are those who are in similar situations. Here’s a secret, though. I don’t have a target audience. I am writing to feed my soul, because I realize how critical it is to my well-being. I’m sharing my writing in the hopes that others will realize how critical happiness, true happiness, and keeping a happy soul are, and perhaps even inspire them to make changes to be happier.

What I want for Mother's Day

A little while after that, while driving as a family, my daughter started talking about Mother’s Day and how she was so excited to show me what she had made in school. For whatever reason, the conversation with my husband about Soul Power popped back into my head. I turned to my husband and said “Please don’t buy me anything for Mother’s Day if you haven’t already. All I want is a bit of time, a bit of peace, and to read and write. Honest.” He nodded his head, a look on his face that either meant You are crazy, I’m not falling into that trap … or … whew, now I don’t have to make a dash out to the store later (Guess we will find out on Sunday which one it was).

Me, myself, and I – all we really want is a bit more time in one day to feed the soul. To fill the cup back up a bit higher so we can continue to jump over the daily hurdles, so that we have the strength to truly be a super mom and wife.

So, husbands and sons, if you are still trying to figure out what to do for Mother’s Day, and are not quite sure, ask her what would truly make her happy. It may be as simple as letting her sleep in, or going on a family drive. Of course, it may be more complicated than that, at which point you are completely on your own.

But instead of trying to rush out and buy her something physical, consider gifting her with something much more rewarding – a chance to recharge her batteries and feed her soul in her own unique way.

~Brittnie~

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Being a SAHP ~ Lesson 1

being-a-sahp-lesson-1         

              Making sure that I’m continuing to learn has become something very important to me in the last few years, and adventuring on this new pathway is going to be full of opportunities to learn.  I’ve only been in the role of stay at home parent – officially – for two days, but I think I’ve already come across the biggest lesson in this entire endeavor. 

               Should I let you guess? No, it isn’t that being a SAHP (stay at home parent) is hard – it is, and anyone who tells anyone any different either A – doesn’t have children, or B – hasn’t been a SAHP.  No, it isn’t that my children are full of energy, and hard to control – they are, but really, is that a surprise? One more guess? No, I am not resentful of my husband for getting to leave to go to work– we needed to make some serious life changes for our family, and I am thankful that this situation came along so that we could make those changes.

               The biggest lesson is this: I am going to be my biggest enemy.  Or my ego, shall we say. I have been working since the age of 14.  I have had a boss, manager, or supervisor in some way for over half of my life.  I had a role with certain responsibilities, and in most cases, other people that were counting on me to do my job and do it well.  Being a SAHP is no different. Except, with a job, there is a chance for feedback, for validation, for a pat on the back for doing a job well done. That is not the same for a SAHP. There are no promotions, no employee reviews with a bonus, no employee appreciation day with doughnuts.  Rather, a SAHP gets to do more of the same, more laundry, dishes, cleaning, kissing owies, and occasionally sneaking into the closet to eat that Kit-Kat you snuck from the grocery store.

               And I can hear some of your brain waves “That’s what being a SAHP is, so don’t complain about it, because you should have known that going in.” (Yes, I hear brain waves… it’s a mom thing).  I’m not complaining about the work, not at all.  As I said, we needed to make some life changes, and I am beyond grateful that this was a choice available to us. And I was more than aware of what a life at home would mean.  For me, the bigger issue is what work gave my ego in terms of self-fulfillment and self-awareness. 

               My job gave me daily accomplishments that kept my motivation going, as well as daily challenges to intrigue my brain and make me question things.  It gave me the satisfaction of proving someone wrong, or the humbling experience of being the one that is wrong.  Hell, work even gave me a schedule, as I don’t even know what day of the week it is anymore. Now, all of these things will need to come from me, meaning I really and truly have to push my ego out of the way. No one is going to make me take on challenges for my brain, or pat me on the back, or give me a bonus – at least not in the way that I am used to. So when I say that I am going to be my biggest lesson, I mean that I will need to find a way to turn off those needs, or find a different way to fulfill them – and a way that is productive rather than self-destructive.

               Now is the time to see what kind of motivation I really have, for life, for my family, for writing, and for myself. 

 

‘Til next time~

 Brittnie